Why are your thoughts being manipulated by others?
Should we care too much about what other people think?Notice, this is about being overly concerned with other people’s opinions.Of course, excessive attention should not be paid, because other people’s opinions are his own reaction to the world, and the value orientation formed after the friction between him and the world.His personal values and ideas are, in a sense, none of your business.Because, from the point of view of the will, you are relatively free, neither of you should judge the value orientation of the other.But you can’t stop him from pointing, because that’s his freedom, too.He even took pleasure in it, which he had the right to do without getting in the way of others.The first thing to say about this question is, why do other people judge other people so much?Or why does he want you to embrace his values?Let’s say your friend A buys A red sweater and you buy A gray one.When your friend finds out, she tells you that all her colleagues have bought red sweaters, which are the latest fashion item of the year, symbolizing passion and nobility.When you hear it, you think it makes sense.So, you change your gray sweater into a red one, although your heart still likes the gray sweater, but you are not sure whether the gray sweater is really good, you think maybe the gray sweater is a little cheesy.When your friend sees you wearing the red sweater, he is very happy and praises your vision and choice. At the same time, you are more convinced that the red sweater is more beautiful.Looks like everyone’s happy.The point here is that your friend chose the red sweater, which is her own idea of what to wear.But why would she want to convince you to do the same?1. It is commonly believed that the more people believe an idea, the more it will prove the correctness of the idea.Your friend is trying to expand her cognitive group, which in turn will validate her choice, as you both generally believe that bigger groups are more reliable.Like when you buy something, a lot of people like to read the sales, like to read the reviews.It’s the same thing.2, your friend chose the red sweater, she should use their own actions to defend their choice, to prove that their choice is very correct.She is basically defending her own perception, even her own self-esteem.Maybe your friend chose the red sweater because someone else lobbied him or her.3. If your friend sees your gray sweater and thinks your gray sweater is beautiful, he is denying himself.Then why were you persuaded by your friend?1) You fall into a “herd mentality” where you naturally like to stand with the crowd. 2) Laziness allows you to make choices.Because you’re too lazy to research whether a red sweater is better or a gray sweater.Because studying something in depth requires physical energy and rationality, it undoubtedly requires a lot of brain cells.3. For security.Recognizing that the majority of people’s choices is right, is safe, so that you can get a sense of security.The fear of loneliness is innate. In order to escape or overcome the fear of loneliness, choosing to be with the public is undoubtedly the easiest choice.Unless you have a strong heart.4. Overcome inferiority complex.Feelings of inferiority come from the uncertainty of your own identity of worth, and when this uncertainty is annihilated by the opinions of others, you are bound to make the opposite choice.Then again, don’t worry too much about what other people think.You can’t be totally indifferent to what other people think.To do so would be to fall into another extreme of pride.The world is never black and white, and any choice should come from rational thought after careful consideration.Rather than blindly deny everything and stubborn rebellion.Schopenhauer said in The Wisdom of Life: There is a special weakness of human nature, that is, people are very concerned about how others see them.In fact, it takes a little thought to realize that other people’s opinions shouldn’t have much effect on our happiness.So it’s amazing that everyone is happy with compliments.If we care too much about the judgment of others, we easily become slaves to their will.If a person cares too much about the praise of others, it is easy to hurt him or appease him.What other people think has nothing to do with us, especially when we realize how shallow the average person is on the inside, how narrow their ideas are, how low their content is, how stubborn their ideas are, and how absurd their mistakes are.When we have seen how others belittle others behind their backs in the hope that they will not be found out, we should really be indifferent to the opinions of others.It is a common mistake to attach too much importance to the evaluation of others, which is rooted in human nature and produced with the development of civilization and society.Whatever its roots, however, we have to admit that such mistakes have a profound effect on human behavior — they damage our happiness.We know from everyday experience that attaching too much importance to the judgment of others is exactly the mistake we make all the time.We attach too much importance to the opinions of others, but not to our own consciousness, even though the latter is quicker and more immediate than the former.We put the cart before the horse, mistaking other people’s judgments for reality and muddling our own consciousness.We treat the secondary as the primary, believing that the image we present to others is more important than who we are.Our first thought in everything we do is what others will think of us, and most of the trouble in life comes from this fear.This concern arises from excessive pride, and people take it for granted.This concern leads us to vanity, affectation, ostentation and ostentation.Once this concern is removed, extravagance, ostentation, extravagance and so on will disappear.If a man can really get rid of such a foolish thought, then he will have unexpected peace and happiness;He would feel more confident about the world, rather than embarrassed and insecure.A retired life can help us to achieve peace of mind, because it makes us no longer have to look at the faces of others, no longer have to listen to the judgment of others;In other words, it allows us to return to our nature and live for ourselves.